


morning

by mech



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, M/M, RvB Secret Santa, children have names?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:04:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mech/pseuds/mech
Summary: After months of urging, Siris agrees to let his wife meet his "coworkers", and while Locus is ready for the game, Felix is not. Which one can put on the better act of domesticity?The thing is, it isn’t his fault in the slightest. The first time he wakes up is around 6:30 A.M., an unfortunate occurrence which can be attributed to Locus’s early-riser tendencies.





	morning

**Author's Note:**

> this was a secret santa for felix-mcscouty. hope you enjoy!

It takes Felix exactly four more hours than usual to roll out of bed.

The thing is, it isn’t his fault in the slightest. The first time he wakes up is around 6:30 A.M., an unfortunate occurrence which can be attributed to Locus’s early-riser tendencies. As soon as he came to, Felix rolled over and attempted to smother Locus with his pillow. Of course, Locus is already up and getting dressed. He greets Felix with a stern eyebrow raise. Felix flips him the bird and settles back down into the thick duvet. 

His second rising was a less dramatic occurrence, and occured at approximately 1 P.M. On a typical day Locus pushes Felix awake before 1 to brief him on any necessary tasks. Chores, equipment, visits from Siris. Often it consists of plans for them to go over. Today the smell of cinnamon has Felix curling up deeper in his sheets. The cold air of the apartment stings the toes of his foot which currently peeks over the edge of the bed.

Locus informed Felix, shortly after they started sharing a bed, that Felix had a proclivity for nightmares and thrashing in his sleep. Very rarely did they result in him waking, but his movements definitely led to his waking up in some rather odd positions. Once, Felix noticed that Locus was even sporting a new bruise on his cheek. He then added insult to injury by blaming it on his subconscious. This led to Locus trying, and failing, to make him sleep on the couch for a week. 

As tantalizing as the smells from the kitchen are however, Felix still has a nagging urge to go ahead and claim more sleep. After all, he put on a facemask last night, and beauty combined with a wickedly sharp tongue is the key for winning the trust of his more idiotic targets. 

The third time Felix wakes up, he is cranky and suspicious. It’s been at least two hours, and still Locus has not come to check up on him.

He forces the covers off and pulls on a jacket which Locus has left folded on a chair. It can be difficult to remember which clothes have not been claimed by him at this point. Locus can bitch all he wants, but all the good clothes he owns were handpicked by Felix, according to the latter.

One pair of fluffy socks later and he’s shuffling to the kitchen. The whole apartment reeks of sugar and spice, and it has his mouth watering. There’s a distinct taste of coffee in the air that Felix can’t wait to pour cream in. He steps into the doorway and is rendered speechless by the sight in front of him.

Locus is present of course, thick curls pulled up into a neat knot at the base of his neck. His chest is donned with a yellow apron which reads ‘Please do nothing to the cook.’ In his hand rests a cake spatula, which he wields like a knife, and on the table are multiple pans of gingerbread people. 

“Locus,” Felix says, with no little deliberation. “What the fuck?”

He stands firmly where he is, refusing to get a better look at the spectacle laid out in front of him. It mostly appears as though Locus has finally gone off the fucking edge. There’s a bag of gumdrops on the counter and everything, of all different flavors. Two of the gingerbread people are already decorated in a poor imitation of what Felix suspects to be themselves. Something is very wrong.

“Siris is bringing the kids over today.” Locus says nonchalauntly, like this is something that they’ve discussed in the past. His eyes narrow, and Felix knows that oh wow, this really is something that they must have talked about.. “You’ve forgotten.” Locus intones blandly. His ire is palpable.

“Forgotten? Of course I didn’t forget. He’s bringing over Margaret.”

“Felix!” Locus growls, pushing the palm not holding the spatula into his forehead. There’s a spot of icing on his jawbone that looks delectable. Felix zones back in midway through a sentence.

“What?”

“Megan, her name is Megan. Do you honestly not remember the name of Siris’s wife?” Felix stares back blankly as Locus continues. “He never stops talking about her. I’ve never seen you pass up the opportunity to make fun of it.” 

“What kind of basic name is Megan…” 

Locus prods him in the chest, both deterring Felix’s insults and his attempts to swipe a gingerbread man. 

“It’s a name, as far as you’re concerned. We are going to be amicable hosts to Siris and his family because he finally trusts us enough to meet them. We are colleagues from work and you will not swear around the kids.” 

“You can’t be serious.” Felix finds himself instantly regretting the words as Locus’s eyes narrow. He’s tensed to dodge, worried to wrestle Locus so soon after waking up, but he doesn’t see the cake spreader until it’s already dislodged a glob of frosting onto his nose. “Hey!”

Locus’s lips are curled into a smile. It’s the infuriatingly smug expression that tears Felix to shreds, the expression that proves that they are still on equal terms. He moves closer to do something to wipe the look off of Locus’s face. Felix notes the eyebrow raising at him as he leans in but is promptly startled by the knock sounding at their door.

“Hello?” A voice that most definitely belongs to Siris calls, and Felix lets out a actual hiss of displeasure. Locus looks more amused than he has in months, he barely spares a scolding glance when Felix punches him in the arm. There are more muffled voices coming from the door, some of them high-pitched. 

“He actually brought the gremlins to meet us. Does he not realize how much I fucking detest kids?” Felix makes a face as Locus ushers him out of the kitchen. Locus, unnervingly open for once in his life, rolls his eyes. 

“Go put on a shirt. I’m sure Siris’s wife would prefer you to have clothes on when you’re flirting.”

“...Do you really think I’m that much of a homewrecker?” Felix almost preens. Locus shoots him a tired glare. He snickers as he slides away to their room, not bothering to shut the door as he changes. The thin walls of the apartment do nothing to muffle the awkward greetings exchanged by Siris and Locus as the former enters, family in tow. 

“He’s useless without me.” Felix mutters, strangely put off by the whole affair. How did Locus know that kids like decorating shit? Locus didn’t even know what a scrunchie was until last week. Felix takes his time to shave and comb his undercut as he ignores the children shrieking in the other room. 

He buttons up a flannel most of the way and cuffs his jeans out of spite to annoy Locus. The more it seems like he’s putting effort into his appearance to impress Siris’s family the better. Locus knows that he doesn’t actually give a shit about them. 

By the time he wanders in, Siris is on the couch looking through his magazines and Locus is crouching on the floor next to the kids. Siris’s wife- Megan- walks over immediately and holds her hand out. There’s a mischievous sparkle in her eye which Felix finds himself imitating. It figures that Siris’s wife is cooler than him in almost every sense. 

“So here’s the antisocial partner I hear so much about. Isaac, I presume?” She smiles at him with red lips and he resists the urge to kiss her hand to prove a point. Both Siris and Locus are wearing twin scowls as they watch, obviously anticipating something inappropriate from his end. Felix resists the urge to cringe at the use of ‘Isaac’ and smiles back, grasping her hand firmly with his own. 

“Sorry, I would’ve introduced myself sooner but you know how it is around the holidays. Sam just had to leave everything an absolute mess.” He tosses out Locus’s name casually, glancing over to enjoy the brief look of outrage it earns him. Megan’s head has a sly tilt to it. She tugs her hand away and Felix, for once, is not the least bit offended.

She’s a bombshell, to be frank. It’s disparaging to know that Siris’s wife is beautiful and clever considering how annoying Siris himself is when he pesters Felix to do things. The two children on the ground are pretty cute for kids as well, a little boy who looks sullen to be there and one older girl who stares at Locus with rapt attention. For a moment, Felix wonders if Siris was right in how much he over-protects his family. 

“Are you and Sam married?” Megan asks, looking genuinely curious. Felix snorts as he feels the cuddly emotions slip away. 

“Nope. Unfortunately Sam has not seen fit to propose.” On the other side of the room, Siris is making motions at Locus to calm down as Felix gives a dramatic swoon. Megan laughs, a sharp sound that startles them all, and pats Felix’s shoulder as casually as if they were friends. Felix grins at Locus. It’s nice, in a way, to have somebody else around who is just as touchy as him. 

“I definitely get what that feels like. Do you know how long it took Mason to squeeze the words out to me?” Felix looks at her in glee. Siris has turned pale- opens his mouth to interject- but it’s too late.

“Mason has barely told me anything about you. Locus and I would love to hear more.”

“He almost threw up. All over my MiuMiu shoes.” Felix tilts his head to hide his shock. Charming and good taste. Megan really was wasted on a husband with a boring disposition. A hand on his shoulder gave him a shock and he looked up to see Locus standing there. He looked slightly more comfortable around Siris’s family than before, although he was giving Megan a look that took a second to decipher. 

Wait a second. Was that jealousy? Seriously? 

Siris seemed to have noticed it too, and he gave a quiet groan, resting his head in his hands. Felix was too intrigued by the new side of Locus to do anything other than lean into the hand. Megan snorted and dropped her hand, heading over to comfort her husband. Felix let a smirk come out in full force.

“Jealous when we’re not in the office?” He murmurs. Locus pointedly drops his hand and heads to the kitchen, grunting something about the gingerbread. Felix rolls his eyes and turns back to Megan only to be cut off. 

“Maybe we should go see what’s cooking!” Interjects Siris, already urging the kids towards the kitchen. The boy perks up, jogging after Locus with a toy gun in tow. The girl pauses to stare at Felix for a long moment. He resists the urge to sneer, but only because Megan is watching. 

“I like your orange hair.” Siris’s daughter finally mutters. Felix blinks and runs his hand through it.

“Of course you do.”

A protest sounds from the side as Megan hipchecks Siris.

“Let the man preen, Mason. Some people don’t have kids to compliment them left and right.”

“Well she never compliments me!” Siris sputters. Felix reaches down to ruffle the girl’s hair, to which she makes a face. 

“Some people are just born with good taste.” He declares, striding past the intruding couple. Locus has stacked the gingerbread men onto plates in the center of the table. The children whisper to each other excitedly when they see, and Felix whips around to catch Siris’s face.

Megan glides over to thank Locus, to which he looks immensely uncomfortable. Siris scowls at Felix when he catches his eyes, but quickly strides forwards to pull chairs out for his children. 

“Sam, this is such a nice idea! Thank you so much.” Locus clears his throat and gives a nod. Felix strides over, already prepared to be a social buffer. 

“He’s really such a cook. Sam made us the absolute best pad thai last week, you know, when Mason came over.”

“How quaint.” Siris drones. The sarcastic effect is ruined by the fact that his son has stuck his hands in the icing and is now rubbing them all over his dad’s chin. Megan has to stifle a laugh. 

The decorating is slow going, and it takes some time before Locus, Felix, and Siris are alone in the living room while Megan helps the kids.

“So,” Felix begins, aware of how uncomfortable the other two men are. “Your brats aren’t as terrible as I imagined.”

“F-... Isaac.” Locus growls. Siris lets out a surprised laugh. 

“Thank you Sam, you exceeded my expectation for you by providing activities for kids.”

“It’s my apartment too.” Felix prods at Locus who doesn’t dignify swatting his hands away. 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks. I’m glad that I met you two, despite the fact that you’re codependent psychopaths with sadistic urges.”

“Please, Siris, take me on a date first.” Felix clasps his shoulder, and for once the man doesn’t move away. 

He does glance up as Megan leads the kids back into the living room, urging them to go put on their jackets and shoes.

“It was so nice of you to have us both over,” Siris swoops past her and kisses her cheek, heading for the kids. “We would love you to join us for Christmas dinner if there’s no place else to be.”

“We would?!” Siris calls back, nearly tripping over his feet. 

“You would.” Felix calls to him, sliding his arm over Locus’s shoulder on the couch.

Megan chuckles and gives them a wave, stepping towards the door. 

“I’ll make sure that there’s plenty of mistletoe hanging around for the two of you.” 

“You are a kind and generous woman, Mrs. Wu.” Felix concludes, squeezing Locus’s arm when he shifts threateningly. 

The nameless children sprint out the door first, and then Megan who runs after them with a yell. Siris lingers by the door.

“They’re everything to me.” He murmurs.

“We know.” Felix groans at the same time that Locus nods. 

Siris’s mouth quirks up for just a second before he steps out the door.

“Have a merry Christmas you two, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you sometime afterwards.”

“Not if we join you for dinner.” Felix snickers as Siris flips him off and slams the door. He lets the silence spread for a minute and pulls his arm away from Locus, inspecting the nails. 

“...So we’re not going to let all that leftover gingerbread go to waste, right?”

Later that evening, after Locus and Felix have mauled each other’s gingerbread representations, Felix steals all of the sheets on their bed.

“Don’t wake me up before one.” He demands, and Locus rolls his eyes and flips off the lamp as he always does.

Felix almost isn’t mad when Locus wakes him up to do chores the next morning. Dishes aren’t so bad when there’s gumdrops to snack on, and even though there isn’t any mistletoe. Well. 

They make do.


End file.
